2.Noneedtositwhenyoupee.
3.Youknowstuffabouttanks.
4.Afive-dayvacationrequiresonlyonesuitcase.
5.MondayNightFootball.
6.Tools.
7.Yourbathroomlinesare80%shorter.
8.Youcanopenallyourownjars.
9.Oldfriendsdon'tgiveyoucrapifyou'velostorgainedweight.
10.Drycleanersandhaircutter'sdon'trobyoublind.
11.Whenclickingthroughthechannel,youdon'thavetostalloneveryshotofsomeonecrying.
12.Yourassisneverafactorinajobinterview.
13.Allyourorgasmsarereal.
14.Abeergutdoesnotmakeyouinvisibletotheoppositesex.
15.Guysinhockeymasksdon'tattackyou.
16.Youdon'thavetolugabagofusefulstuffaroundeverywhereyougo.
17.YouunderstandwhyStripesisfunny.
18.Youcangotothebathroomwithoutasupportgroup.
19.Yourlastnamestaysput.
20.Youcanleaveahotelbedunmade.
21.Whenyourworkiscriticized,youdon'thavetopanicthateveryonesecretlyhatesyou.
22.Youcankillyourownfood.
23.Thegarageisallyours.
24.Yougetextracreditfortheslightestactofthoughtfulness.
25.YouseethehumorinTermsofEndearment.
26.Nobodysecretlywondersifit'ssilicon.
27.Youneverhavetocleanthetoilet.
28.Youcanbeshoweredandreadyin10minutes.
29.Bodybuildingisnatural.
30.Weddingplanstakecareofthemselves.
31.Ifsomeoneforgetstoinviteyoutosomething,heorshecanstillbeyourfriend.
32.Yourunderwearis$10forathreepack.
33.TheNationalCollegeCheerleadingChampionship
34.Noneofyourco-workershavethepowertomakeyoucry.
35.Youdon'thavetoshavebelowyourneck.
36.Youdon'thavetocurlupnexttoahairymaneverynight.
37.Ifyou're34andsinglenobodynotices.
38.Youcanwriteyournameinthesnow.
39.Youcangetintoanontrivialpissingcontest.
40.Everythingonyourfacestaysitsoriginalcolor.
41.Chocolateisjustanothersnack.
42.Youcanbepresident.
43.Youcanquietlyenjoyacarridefromthepassengerseat.
44.Flowersfixeverything.
45.Youneverhavetoworryaboutotherpeople'sfeelings.
46.Yougettothinkaboutsex90%ofyourwakinghours.
47.Youcanwearawhiteshirttoawaterpark.
48.Threepairofshoesismorethanenough.
49.Youcaneatabananainahardwarestore.
50.Youcansayanythingandnotworryaboutwhatpeoplethink.
51.Noneedforhandlotion.
52.MichaelBoltondoesn'tliveinyouruniverse.
53.Youdon'thavetoeatquiche.
54.Youcanwhipyourshirtoffonahotday.
55.Youdon'thavetocleanyourapartmentifthemeterreaderiscomingby.
56.Youdon'thaveto'Stayfree'.
57.Carmechanicstellyouthetruth.
58.Youdon'tgivearat'sassifsomeonenoticesyournewhaircut.
59.YoucanwatchagameinsilencewithyourbuddyforhourswithouteventhinkingHemustbemadatme.
60.Theworldisyoururinal.
61.Younevermisconstrueinnocuousstatementstomeanyourloverisabouttoleaveyou.
62.Yougettojumpupandslapstuff.
63.Hotwaxnevercomesnearyourpubicarea.
64.Onemood,allthetime.
65.YoucanadmireClintEastwoodwithoutstarvingyourselftolooklikehim.
66.Youneverhavetodrivetoanothergasstationbecausethisone'sjusttooskeevy.
67.Youknowatleast20waystoopenabeerbottle.
68.Youcansitwithyourkneesapartnomatterwhat
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