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Thingsyouwon’thearawomansaytoanotherwoman

Thatswimsuitreallyflattersyourfigure!Wouldyoumindkeeping
myhusbandcompanywhileIgoforaswim?

Oh,look,thatwomanandIhavethesamedresson!IthinkI'llgo
introducemyself!

Hisnewgirlfriendisthinnerandbetter-lookingthanIam,andI'm
happyforthemboth.

Ifhedoesn'tletmeholdtheremote,Igetallmoody.

HeearnedmorethanIdo,soIbrokeupwithhim.

I'msickofdatingdoctorsandlawyers!Givemeagoodold-fashioned
waiterwithaheartofgoldanyday!

We'reredecoratingthebedroom,andhekeepsbuggingmetohelphim
withthecolorchoices!

Hetalksourrelationshiptodeath!It'smakingmecrazy!

Why

Ijustrealized--mybuttdoesn'tlookfatinthis--mybutt*is*fat!
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